Read this!! not spam^

let me tell you something you didn't know about hooking readers with your opening sentence.

heheh.

so i got drunk at this wedding in harrisburg. and the night before that, and the night before that and the night before that. which sucks today but not that badly. it was good that i'd gone 13 days without drinking before that. that must be my longest streak since i turned 21. you know you're addicted in some way when you count the days you don't use, as it were.

end subject.

here's how i imagine it'd go if i were thrust on stage to wing some comedic stand-up:

what's up with tornados? what, they're like the same shape as whirlpools but they suck things up instead of down. (mild interest) i mean, what, they throw things around, what, strong case of storm cell clash. (blank stares) (i laugh nervously in attempts to encourage the audience) i saw this man wearing a dress the other day. (i laugh) no, just kidding.

end subject.

Bears, and how they're funny

ok, so, we all understand migration and why and how birds (for one) do it. but hibernation?? i mean, is it a myth, or do all bears all find caves to sleep in for all of winter? granted, i haven't seen that many more bears than caves in my life, but i swear there can't be that many caves out there. how weird is it that bears have caves? what's this mommy?? it's a cave. that's where bears live. i mean it's pretty funny that animals live underground in holes but for some reason it just seems so weird that bears live in caves. bats live in caves. ok, makes sense. i can understand a mountain lion ducking into one for some shelter, but this big fucking bear lives in one. and another funny thing is how everytime i imagine a bear living in a cave, the cave is kindof shaped like an igloo and is just the perfect size for him to fit comfortably. this isn't what caves are like. caves are usually humongous, or at least half of them are. do bears share these huge caves? springtime do they all come shouldering out looking for berries like bats do every night looking for hair to get caught in?

ok. another funny thing about bears comes to us courtesy the colbert report. the colbert report is former daily show expert spin-off correspondent stephen colbert doing a show that comedically mimics anderson cooper, bill o'reilly type personality one-man news shows. to be sure, there's lots of self-important hype, saying things with conviction and terrorizing audiences with conjectured statements about the horrible world outside and its threat to our nice little lives. this is where bears come in. nearly every show they make his 'Threat Down' where he lists the top five threats facing us each day. at the end he always points at the camera fixes his eyes earnestly and says, 'bears you're on notice.' another funny thing about stephen colbert's the colbert report ('report' has a silet 't' like in 'colbert') is that when he introduces his guest the guest is already sitting down at some lower level table waiting for him. colbert smartly wondered why the guest should get to walk in to applause when the show obviously should be centered around him. so instead, after introcucing the guest's name, colbert jumps up to take the applause for himself and then runs down, arms raised as if in victory, to where the guest of the night is sitting. usually he delays greeting the guest for a few moments to turn around and accept the audience's generousity with a wide grin and probably blow them kisses.

this post was forced

unfinished p0st

so the store's been crazy busy lately. this is mostly why i haven't been writing things lately. but that sounds like something someone with people waiting for them to write things says. heh. we're on pace for maybe 45000 or more just this month and if we hit 40000 then just for this month i get a 600 bonus. that sounds like an xbox 360 to me maybe.

awkwardish things happened today. *palm presses to my face and my knees wobble* while thinking 'what do i get myself into?' just kidding.

mmm got too busy w/shit. this will never be finished

the depletion of my machinations, or, saying words for fun

the unbearable lightness of being is really great but here i go again. i've learned some awesome frames of reference and they are invaluable to my world of categorizing but it's still just a story about people. it's hard for it to keep my interest. there's nothing to look forward to at the end for me. this kid josh illig once told me that you read a book until you get what there is to get from the author and then lay it aside. at the time i didn't understand becuase i had a special attachment to books that i read. but i don't have time for that anymore and so last night, reading the book julie let me borrow, i, reminded of it by julie the same night i got unbearable/lightness form her, began reading guns,germs,steel again. it was so much more satifying.

but a lot of times it seems like i only like something when i don't know what it's trying to say. if i knew what diamond was getting at i might not care to follow his points. it's the same with music. if i don't pay attention i can listen to the same song again and again. (this pat metheney orchestra song that i've listened to various times as i let the cd play, just caught my attention for real yesterday and amazed me. i've almost got a grasp on it though. meaning i've nearly categorized it into something recognizable and predictable. meaning i've almost sucked the meaning out of it. but also, i like it's extension of tension. also it's comparable to a living organism, this song, it behaves so lifelike)

my new health has made it easier to pay more attention to things. even almost impossible not to.

this is all good.

mmm, 5 till 7

she was waiting for him in the park. she'd been waiting for him in the park for a while before she saw him walking toward her. she stood up from the bench, walked a few steps towards him and then once more she waited.

he looked up at her. she felt that the pleasure she felt in seeing him was too obvious on her face. she felt embarrassed and vulnerable. she didn't notice she was digging her heel into the ground. she stopped herself from smiling but every muscle in her face was tense and ready to spring into action.

he walked toward her. he caught himself reacting as he normally did when he was nervous: he looked around as if aloof; at the purple flowers and jagged weeds; through the fence at the men playing basketball over her shoulder. he had trained himself to do this. but quickly he stopped himself and looked up at her and tried to hold her gaze.

her eyes went down immediately, hidden by her eyelids, but they shot straight back up again to meet his. this caught him off guard and he was no longer in control of how he was acting and he smiled at her in terrible happiness with his entire face.

she was slightly stronger. her hands went to go up to her face but she realized how this would make her look and so she stopped them halfway, but then she realized how awkward this made her position look and she bent at the waist, fell back a few steps and broke into laughter.

respect the dovetail

i liked the way a lot of this was put

from Blurred Clarity

related: now that i've had some years off, i'm starting to appreciate that i was a history major. i'm starting to understand why i would want to learn about it and once i fully (or at least slightly) grasp what i want to know and learn about, i probably will go back to grad school for a related area. i think it's time for me to take a nice broad look at history. my desire to get in depth as possible with any event no matter how small is fading. i never could follow history in high school because it was broad and left so much out and left me feeling helpless to ever understand it. but now that i've seen some more of it in depth i'm satisfied that i know what it would mean to study it real in depth and i'm thinking i'd like to take a look at it in general and look for the patterns that emerge there. all the sudden...i'm making a plan (!?)