postmodern pain

ah! blasted toothache
from whence do you come

neither a blade that is searing
of fiercely hot cold iron
or vicious salt
flung in mine own eyes
would make me rejoice thee

ah! horrid toothache
from whom? so i can blame

that i dream of such pleasure
rocky drilling will bring
that i dream with a smile
of a needle
deep back in my mouth

but then once the pain is gone and my bottom lip trembles since numb
and without feeling, hands dig instruments sharp and hard into my pulled open mouth
and i simulate pain because i know it should hurt
so my shoulders are tense and my face might look tortured
but then i try to relax to see what that's like
and i see the whole scene like i'm watching tv
but then the heat of their presence is made aware in my mouth
their hands jabbing and jamming and sucking and probing
and a panic overtakes me - yet just for a second
as i've been better at conquering that phase of my problems

but no pain at all, as they dig in my mouth
and crank and wiggle my gums till they bleed
but just because there's no pain, should i trivialize the process
can i live without sin if i can bypass the punishment?