don't interact with me, just let me control the situation

alright, i think i need to get out of here. it is no longer a challenge to interact with people. i'm starting to not even try anymore. i've proved to myself sufficiently that i can do it if i need to and so now a lot of times i only give half effort. when i do this i start to not like myself.

the only reason i gave 100% before was because i couldn't let myself think i couldn't do it. but now that i can do it, i can't give 100%. i can just see things getting worse from here if i don't do something different soon. fuck, i hate doing things different. sorry, i meant, goursh darnit