add this up

like, the most addicting part of alcohol might have been the false sense of recovery that it gave. i was always assured of feeling better in time, and i didn't have to do anything, i just had to not drink. tomorrow there will be less pain, etc. but then, after 5 days or so, things were less predictable. questions were open. questions i didn't want to make a decision on. drink up. and even plus because it's a reward for going 5 days!!