so i live near the woods
as do many spiders. i went outside for a cigarette, as i'd had 3 beers, and i spotted this big spider, not the biggest in nature, mind you, but big nonetheless. and i thought, eh, i don't mind it too much. i walked down my 3 stairs and lit up. full of energy, yet bored, i looked to him again and resolved myself with a sigh. being the largest creature around i thought i'd give him a go for some interacting and walked up a few stairs and leaned toward him. so bud, i thought, and wondered some feeling at him. but just as i realized i was comfortable, i looked down and there, right by my side, was another spider of the same species. i jumped back and laughed at the situation. right as i was getting comfortable with them one was there to shock me to a distance again.
it's funny how they don't move; much more frightening. i liken it to opening a closet door. if someone is inside there with intentions to scare me they might often shout 'boo!' immediately, and cause me to fall down backwards in surprise. but had they not moved at all things would have been much worse. giving me time to see and recognize their unnatural appearance makes for more of a soul-wrecking experience as opposed to just an emotional release. damn those spiders and what they symbolize to me.
it's funny how they don't move; much more frightening. i liken it to opening a closet door. if someone is inside there with intentions to scare me they might often shout 'boo!' immediately, and cause me to fall down backwards in surprise. but had they not moved at all things would have been much worse. giving me time to see and recognize their unnatural appearance makes for more of a soul-wrecking experience as opposed to just an emotional release. damn those spiders and what they symbolize to me.
on a whim, chad was marco @ 11:48 PM
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At 9:17 PM,
Salomé said…
It's true about them not moving. What freaks me out even moer about them is their stillness is so complete that when they move, it is always a surprise. There's nothing to clue you in that they are going to before they just suddenly do.
But I wonder what you mean about what they symbolize. Not to overanalyze, but would it be so scary to have to look at a person close up, unmoving (as long as it wasn't a dead person)? I would look at you close up, not moving. I don't think it would be unnatural at all.
PS. I am totally amazed at your ability to write every day.
At 2:28 AM,
chad was marco said…
thanks salome.
i think when i said damn them and what they symbolize to me that it was an unnatural sentence. they symbolize things to me, but i didn't mention anything they symbolize to me in the post other than fear.
also, to clarify, if there's a person in your bedroom closet when you open it i think it's scarier if they don't move rather than if they jump out screaming. it's so much creepier. it doesn't exactly relate to spiders; just kind of in an analogous way.
but hey, yeah, i completely agree that when they do finally move it's jolting.
At 11:18 PM,
chad was marco said…
haha, sorry julie, but attacks discovered wouldn't mean what you'd think. sticking with chess terminology, it means placing an enemy's piece under attack by moving one of your pieces out of the way of - and thus revealing an attack by - another of your pieces.
i completely agree with you about comfort. i also tend to withdraw. when i'm uncomfortable i don't like myself.
i'm glad you were there last night. i enjoyed it. if you weren't there i would have been forced (basically) to get drunk. i'm not interested in picking up any girl at the bar and i don't want to chat with guys who are trying to or small talk with anyone. but if i'm drunk, well, then i can handle it. but then i try to get up for work in the morning. heh.
it sucks we have to drink when i see my friends each time. i mean, it's great and allows us to cram in as much fun as possible in a short time, but i don't remember what it's like to look forward to seeing my friends without planning on drinking. that's why hiking mountains is so important.
big gulps uh?! whelp, talk to you later
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