yeah, sure, ok, maybe before i said
(think abe cernicks)
that i was able to live well in the present moment. but fuck that. ok, here's what i'm thinking. i like to believe that i, at least, people in general, possibly, ride a wave. i like to think my wave is quite rediculous in its up and downs. yeah, sure, ok, maybe before i said that i was able to live well in the present moment. but at the same time i believe that i, as me, live in the present moment less than anyone, too. i can walk around in a daze more than anyone, noticing nothing external. oh, i guess i did see that box that i had to move to get into the house. but, heh, i didn't even realize i had to move it. i was just on my way inside, and there was this box in my way that i had to move, and so did so mindlessly, on my way to inside towards the phone or chess or my room etc. i fucking moved that box and didn't even think twice about it. or so it would go.
one, two, three, four pounders and more and it leads me right to jackson, so sayeth sufjan. very much liking that. my mother likes the music i like. is that cool? sufjan, elliot smith, flaming lips, some of bright eyes, jack johnson and on sort of. i have the greatest mother in the fucking world and i feel sorry for the rest of you. (not joking) and not just because of the music thing. she is too good, in fact, that i need to ignore that she's there to try to get on with my life.
i've often felt that if my family could all just die then i could get on with my life. of course that sounds like shit but it would be the worst thing in the world and so then everything else couldn't really affect me. screw embarrassment or failure, i'd fucking slam shit. dominate, right doug. but yet i'm held in perpetual check. so i just move pawns. i won't sacrafice my queen even if it means victory later. i'll die with her by my side. i'll lose, but i can't sacrafice it, the state. choose someone else to solve your oil problems.
do i matter more than us? to a certain degree. you'd have some real explaining to do to convince me otherwise.
that i was able to live well in the present moment. but fuck that. ok, here's what i'm thinking. i like to believe that i, at least, people in general, possibly, ride a wave. i like to think my wave is quite rediculous in its up and downs. yeah, sure, ok, maybe before i said that i was able to live well in the present moment. but at the same time i believe that i, as me, live in the present moment less than anyone, too. i can walk around in a daze more than anyone, noticing nothing external. oh, i guess i did see that box that i had to move to get into the house. but, heh, i didn't even realize i had to move it. i was just on my way inside, and there was this box in my way that i had to move, and so did so mindlessly, on my way to inside towards the phone or chess or my room etc. i fucking moved that box and didn't even think twice about it. or so it would go.
one, two, three, four pounders and more and it leads me right to jackson, so sayeth sufjan. very much liking that. my mother likes the music i like. is that cool? sufjan, elliot smith, flaming lips, some of bright eyes, jack johnson and on sort of. i have the greatest mother in the fucking world and i feel sorry for the rest of you. (not joking) and not just because of the music thing. she is too good, in fact, that i need to ignore that she's there to try to get on with my life.
i've often felt that if my family could all just die then i could get on with my life. of course that sounds like shit but it would be the worst thing in the world and so then everything else couldn't really affect me. screw embarrassment or failure, i'd fucking slam shit. dominate, right doug. but yet i'm held in perpetual check. so i just move pawns. i won't sacrafice my queen even if it means victory later. i'll die with her by my side. i'll lose, but i can't sacrafice it, the state. choose someone else to solve your oil problems.
do i matter more than us? to a certain degree. you'd have some real explaining to do to convince me otherwise.
on a whim, chad was marco @ 10:34 PM
2 $BlogItemCommentCount$:
At 3:01 AM,
Kay Richardson said…
What box? What wave? I'm confused. I'm glad you find my misfortune(s) so funny. I have a red nose, you know.
At 10:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
sufjan stevens is AMAZING. i didn't know you listened to him! do you have anything off seven swans? i love the two states albums, but seven swans is my favorite. and even though it's kind of christian, it's really not. or, it is in a way that's okay.
i could really relate to what you wrote about partial insanity, above. i think i made a lot of life decisions while i was a couple short of a full deck, and they landed me in a strange place.
but it makes life more interesting, right?
anyway. i owe you a letter, or ten, but i guess a swell comment will have to do for now.
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