i don't have a problem with drinking
weird, but another counselor came in a few hours later. we talked about counseling.
also, i'm really starting to hate this job.
note: if you want to forget about something for a while, make something hurt. once the pain hurts too much, make something else hurt. this is a good way to avoid things. avoiding things is bad.
also, i'm really starting to hate this job.
alcohol is insidious. what's good about alcohol at first is that it's fun. but then it makes you feel bad. what's good about alcohol later is that it makes you feel bad. it is what makes you feel bad. avoiding it is the only thing you have to do to feel relatively better. maybe drink up and then day two feel better and day three feel perfect. maybe enjoy day four and think that night, hmm, i feel great, i could maybe not drink and then also feel great, hmm, or i could drink now.
but that guy wasn't thinking correctly. what happens is that after the forth day or so new problems arise. more real problems. more challenging and harder to deal with. so what's good about alcohol is that it tricks you into thinking that 'ok' is right around the corner. 'feeling great' is just a couple of days away. so at first, what's good about alcohol and what gets you to do it a lot is that it makes you feel good and then later you keep doing it because it can serve as your one sole problem. it's easy to fix one problem. it seems like it at least. it's like if you have a lot of things to study and papers to write but if you write down on a piece of paper somewhere what you have to do then all the sudden you realize that you have plenty of hours left and so you can lie back down and relax.
feeling great is not a couple of days away. there are probably years of hard work. it would be easy to get in my car and drive somewhere and buy some alcohol and even if there are no friends around i could open up the bottles and drink out of them and slowly start to smile and think good thoughts and shout out loud into the woods and the cold night that everything's awesome and slowly or quickly drink some more and smoke some cigarettes and smoke more and more and keep drinking and then think about passing out and then wake up and have my day off and wake up thinking that i won't do anything today because i feel kind of shitty and then opportunities will come up to do things but i won't and i'll struggle through things making normally good things seem annoying and i'll wake up the next day after wasting the last one and think that things seem a lot better and then i'll work out and not drink and then i'll wake up the next day realizing that the next 48 hours are going to be very good before i decide that, yeah, perhaps i'll drink again because, you know, it's a dark night or something.
i don't have a problem with drinking. en contraire, i like it very much and find it quite easy to do.
also, i'm really starting to hate this job.
note: if you want to forget about something for a while, make something hurt. once the pain hurts too much, make something else hurt. this is a good way to avoid things. avoiding things is bad.
also, i'm really starting to hate this job.
alcohol is insidious. what's good about alcohol at first is that it's fun. but then it makes you feel bad. what's good about alcohol later is that it makes you feel bad. it is what makes you feel bad. avoiding it is the only thing you have to do to feel relatively better. maybe drink up and then day two feel better and day three feel perfect. maybe enjoy day four and think that night, hmm, i feel great, i could maybe not drink and then also feel great, hmm, or i could drink now.
but that guy wasn't thinking correctly. what happens is that after the forth day or so new problems arise. more real problems. more challenging and harder to deal with. so what's good about alcohol is that it tricks you into thinking that 'ok' is right around the corner. 'feeling great' is just a couple of days away. so at first, what's good about alcohol and what gets you to do it a lot is that it makes you feel good and then later you keep doing it because it can serve as your one sole problem. it's easy to fix one problem. it seems like it at least. it's like if you have a lot of things to study and papers to write but if you write down on a piece of paper somewhere what you have to do then all the sudden you realize that you have plenty of hours left and so you can lie back down and relax.
feeling great is not a couple of days away. there are probably years of hard work. it would be easy to get in my car and drive somewhere and buy some alcohol and even if there are no friends around i could open up the bottles and drink out of them and slowly start to smile and think good thoughts and shout out loud into the woods and the cold night that everything's awesome and slowly or quickly drink some more and smoke some cigarettes and smoke more and more and keep drinking and then think about passing out and then wake up and have my day off and wake up thinking that i won't do anything today because i feel kind of shitty and then opportunities will come up to do things but i won't and i'll struggle through things making normally good things seem annoying and i'll wake up the next day after wasting the last one and think that things seem a lot better and then i'll work out and not drink and then i'll wake up the next day realizing that the next 48 hours are going to be very good before i decide that, yeah, perhaps i'll drink again because, you know, it's a dark night or something.
i don't have a problem with drinking. en contraire, i like it very much and find it quite easy to do.
on a whim, chad was marco @ 5:43 PM
6 $BlogItemCommentCount$:
At 7:45 PM,
Anonymous said…
hahaha.
"what's good about alcohol at first is that it's fun. but then it makes you feel bad."
did you ever consider being a D.A.R.E. educator?
At 10:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Cool site brother! I can hardly believe this coolness! Love it all. For even more, superior coolness check out this site, "http://wolfman2000andbeyond.blogspot.com" and learn all about the much sought after answers to the human conscience puzzle. Yes, it is Wolfman: A Discussion on the 21st Century!
At 10:33 AM,
ClickNathan said…
Oh man...let me first commend you on the fact that Comments just got tougher. I've been waiting for just that event to transpire before beginning to think about what I'll do when it does.
I'm pretty sure the line between good and bad with alcohol is the one where you stumble into work drunk one morning, or in a drunkard's rage call your boss or ex-girlfriend up at 3am to tell them something that's immediately emergency.
I often feel stupid the next day after drinking...take my life for example, when I've been drinking and chatting and doing what people do after 9 or 12 beers, I'm on top of the world. "Great man, this is so great that I can finally come out and say everything I've always wanted to say."
Then, the next morning, I remember how there was a reason why I never wanted to tell anyone about that dude I kissed when I was thirteen or how I'm not afraid of death because death is just one card out of a vast number of Yugi Oh decks.
And also, I agree with the second person's post.
At 10:34 AM,
ClickNathan said…
Oh but also, now that I see why Comments just got tougher, I'm laughing less.
But still, I laughed hard at one point, so all is well and good.
At 7:27 PM,
chad was marco said…
haha, yeah liz, i sure have a clever way to turn a phrase.
the wolfman and i reciprocally consider ourselves lucky to know each other. he considers that i consider myself luckier. wouldn't he say? (some mutter, 'what, he only posts every full moon or something?)
...more to come
At 7:32 PM,
chad was marco said…
(hahaha, seems like: if your comment hasn't been attacked yet, there's still time to remove it!)
Post a Comment
<< Click for Virus