Break out your flashlights

well, i've set things up perfectly for the beginning of a horror movie.

darkness closes in outside as the young man (woman would be preferable) turns around the open sign on the front door. he's left two lamps glowing and oldies playing low on the radio. in the old log building, all alone, fingers clicking, he bends his neck, eyes reflecting the image of a bright computer monitor. the song changes and deep back in the distance of the dark store he finds it unsettling that it just sounded like papers had rustled. he realizes his situation. suddenly, he fears. at first, he kind of enjoys it. the change of the song takes more importance in his mind. his setting seems interesting. he looks around, his face frozen in enjoyment and excitement. but then, something about the way the light lit the shoulder of the rigid sofa; the way darkness had built a wall halfway through the store, he began to struggle with his heart for composure. he turned away from reality then and clenched his hands for a second, took a deep, uncomfortable breath. best to forget about it, he thought. sure it could be exciting, but fear was better to be ignored.

fear had played a big part for him throughout his life, back in the corner of his mind though it was. that was just the right place fear needed to be to grow, but heh, he hadn't known that when he put it there when he was seven and locked it up in a chest and piled hundreds of half-read books on it and smothered it all again with blankets of love.

a car horn blared outside all the sudden and he relaxed as he felt his situation grow lighter, less lonesome, less vulnerable. he considered getting out now while there was getting to be out. but he didn't. everyone'd always warned others not to look down, but now that he had he couldn't stop. he had crunched on those leaves in that house and found that if he went in there, scary as it was, that part of him didn't have to blow away.

so he went back in. think the opposite of an out-of-body experience. even more, you die and float off as a ghost, wondering goodbye. at first, he crept down the stairs slowly, his hand white from clenching the rail through the sweat. panic would rush through him and creak away with each step to be replaced with plain old fear. he was filled with not wanting to be. still, he was continually offered the chance to flee. still, he resisted the chance to flee. something started to make him feel better. he considered that although he never noticed anything getting any better he maybe could trust that it was. recently he'd noticed this - one of life's phonomena. hah, he actually started to feel better. his head raised and he started to step with more strength.

a cold wind blew. he smiled as his hair fluttered and wetness cooled on his brow and upper lip. by now he no longer held onto the rail next to him. for all he knew it wasn't even there any longer. the blackness that surrounded him had really started to turn a deep blue. he started taking the steps two at a time and it was as if the stairs had steepened their decline. he was breathing hard with exertion now and it was getting much colder, his breath showed in front of him. he slipped and he grappled for the stairs but they had disappeared altogether and he was sliding almost straight down. there was something missing. there was something missing. there was something missing...

he fell as if into a black hole, deep inside himself, never to return. he was now him, and although there was a whole lot missing, he could imagine that he was no longer falling such was the rate.

deep inside himself where nothing else could get.

there are mixed feelings within this post.

break out your flashlights because you'll probably want to make your way back home.