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so, if you're a comment reader, you might be wondering, "'who is this guy, and why does he think he can know the word 'hypnopomic?'" well, let me post you all about it.

Christmas, 2004.

haha, what a tone that sets. let me break it by wrenching in a sentence full of the word wrenching and the word aboriginal which can refer to all sorts of things that were the first of their kind to occupy a certain realm. hence, i can say that my lower body is aboriginal to these new jeans. or maybe i can't.

but so i got 'The Dream Encyclopedia' as a present. i look through it now and then but every single thing about it bothers me. i don't quite know how to get across what it is so i'll just quote things it says and let you get the feeling if you do. something about how useless it is.

let's first take a glance at the back of this shiny, purple, softback, text-book sized book.

first, in a larger than the rest font it says, "unravels 700 dream symbols..."

ok, so i'm just going to flip around here and find random examples.

have you ever wondered what it meant when 'bait' showed up in your dream but just couldn't unravel this curious puzzle yourself? well, The Dream Encyclopedia is here to help. according to The Dream Encyclopedia (i keep capitalizing it in hopes that each time you read it you will give it humorous emphasis like a booming, echoing voice and not just because it is proper to capitalize it.) dreaming of bait is a fairly simple symbol to unravel. "As a lure, bait is usually associated with fishing, although in a dream fishing can symbolize anything from fishing for a deal to fishing for a compliment." period.

how about that night you dreamed about that 'beaver?' well, according to The Dream Encyclopedia, "Beavers have many different symbolic possibilities. In particular, our culture tends to associate beavers with industriousness, as in the expression "busy as a beaver." In slang usage, this animal also has sexual connotations. Finally, beavers build dams which, because emotions are often symbolized by water, can indicate building emotional barriers." ummhmm, ahuh...tell me more

yeah, sure, beavers, bait, those kinds of dreams are for pussies (if you have access to it in your memory, think of jedi master abe cernicks asking this question) but what if some dumb mother fucker drops a bomb on me during when i'm asleep? well, jedi master abe cernicks, you could just look up your query in The Dream Encyclopedia and find that, "A bomb is quite an attention-getter if it goes off in a dream. Perhaps a situation is becoming too explosive and the dreamer needs to tread carefully to avoid 'land mines.' Alternatively, perhaps the dreamer is so tightly wound because of some situation that he or she feels ready to explode."

i can't believe they quoted 'land mines.' or even said it, basically.

ok, so you're getting the drift and there are much much worse ones. but that's my problem. what is this. is this rediculous or is it really something. is this how our mind works. how is this something? i mean, after i read two of these i could probably write the rest of the fucking book.

but then again, there're ones that i'd've never been able to think up such as dreaming of losing your teeth may reflect a loss of your grasp of life's circumstances. ...what? because, you know...

i don't know. maybe i would appreciate the book more if i ever thought about my dreams in any portenting claivoyancing kind of way. basically, i just see my dreams as entertainment. oh well. that says a lot in a way, but doesn't say the one thing that matters.

i'll leave it all with a quasi-quote from sherlock holmes i just read in the curious dog book. 'the world is full of obvious things that nobody ever notices.'

oh, i won't leave you, because that takes me to what worries me when i get to a place in learning that shawn (it seemed) may also have an idea on and which comes into play when you learn classical ideas such as when i'm learning piano music or chess moves (which is why it's back in my head). if you look at a piano there is no reason to think that someone would come up with a chopin etude or whatever. what i mean is, there isn't only one way to conquer and conform the piano. the possibilities are endless but we all have a basic idea of what a song should sound like. i don't like that, but for music it's hard to escape. but in thinking...i don't know, maybe it's even harder to escape, or not, i don't know. but say in chess. i bought this chessmaster for xbox and these mega grandmasters analyze hundreds of games for me move by move and show what could have happened twenty moves down the road if instead the person moved here. this is great, but, i feel like i've picked up an odd, hardly tangeable pattern. something about how sometimes they seem to assume moves that would be traditional. they assume moves that would lead to classic attacks. i waver slightly when confronted with accepting things like this. i need to see for myself. constantly i get upset and wonder why they didn't show me what would have happened if they went here or there. but, when it comes to chess i can basically just believe them and i'm probably just overlooking something. but still, i waver. this gets me into trouble when it comes to learning. i want to spend a lot of time questioning the basic concepts and principles. i feel like i need to learn the reasons for them being the principles before i can accept them. but instead, first day of class, 'here are the principles, write these down,' second day - last day, 'here's what we can learn using those principles.' so, like, just because we've learned from those principles reinforces and gives authority or gives those principles a basic right to be one and only, even though, if someone else had come up with different principles we'd be living in and understanding a completely different world and way of life. not physically, maybe, but, i don't know, maybe when i'd dream of a beaver it might mean instead that i was in need of another nervous breakdown or that i now was supposed to marry a capricorn.

oh, this all worried me because maybe we don't see the otherwise-obvious things because they don't fit into our patterns of what matters.