drafting

i await the day when all the excuses for why not? fail.

i can't figure my way around so much of this frustration. and it's all the same kind of things, too. and i keep doing them the same ways, and i sit and get angry at how i feel i'm doing them wrong, but i have no idea how to try to do them differently, and they aren't things that are yet, or may ever be, a very important part of my life, and so they never get the amount of time i really need to give them, but yet i waste so much time on things that, if i just gave them up, i would benefit as much as if i could do things i wasn't doing correctly, correctly, and i've always found it easier to restrain myself than apply myself. start there.

at least i've learned how to die when i need to.