In Transit

It's such a game when you're not playing, but once you get involved it becomes so real. Emotions. Saying something sappy to your mother on her mother's day card because it could be passed off as a joke, but if you let it, tears well right up.

Time is best experienced at a fast pace. Just, you never realize what it is you've just seen. There's no median for me in there. I crawl through questions, or I squeeze my eyes shut, bouncing off the occasional rock in the tedious cliche of a swift current.

I hate it when things get built up. I don't feel like I needed that advantage. I don't want that advantage. I want to do it all spontaneously.

An imagination works best when it dreams only a step or two above reality. When I'm having a good time, time flies, as we say, and so does time fly for that half hour drive to work, fueled by the imagination, all gassed up on reality. Imagination gives you an experience a few steps below reality and so the cirumstances within the daydream are usually heightened by the user to get a similar effect.

You might not even know how much easier something as easy as walking becomes. It still feels a bit sickening to be interacting normally. how did people take me before. was there really that much eye contact and facial expression. does my gaurd mask my awkwardness or does everyone see right through it and forgive it or mock it when i'm not looking.

Oh oh oh oh oh. The black tongue of thinking begins again it's accostomed ascent up my throat and into my brain. My own tongue hardens, the pressure in my head increases and my chest is strained. My progressive and energetic contentedness is slowly slipping away. I'm sitting right here and letting it. Shouldn't I get out of here. Have I created myself some bad habits. Shouldn't I quit this. This that won't ever let me loosen my straight face.

But I want to write, but it always takes me to the unknown. Isn't the best writer the observer of things, not the analyzer? When I'm happy, I'm an observer, but don't care to write. When I'm otherwise, I care to think; I'm forced to write. But what about the second sentence of this paragraph? Maybe I should have just been the star running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers like I've always wanted to. I can still make those moves in my mind, and I've never seen anything like them.