What Do You Mean!?!?

I was within hearing distance of the counter when a man approached it and addressed my aunt. He had been ordered by his wife to pick up the two antique mahogany end tables that she had dropped off because she wasn't willing to sell them here at the price we had quoted her. My aunt was at a loss and she doesn't like to be at a loss. She tried to explain to him the $60 we suggested we price the tables at was just that - a suggested price. She wanted to tell him that we would likely put the price his wife wanted on them if it wasn't too unrealistic. She wanted to talk to his wife.

The man had come in with one simple task on his mind. He had to find someone who worked at some used furniture store in Altoona and tell them that he was going to take his wife's end tables back home with him. He was probably thinking ahead to the next thing he planned to do in the day. He wasn't expecting an intense confrontation, but, unfortunately he had run into my aunt. She started rushing through our store policies and asking him how much his wife wanted for the end tables and why did she want them picked up. The man repeatedly told her that he had no idea; he was just told to pick them up. My aunt kept talking and the man eventually decided to try to call his wife at work. She continued attempting to reason with him throughout the phone call. He couldn't get hold of his wife.

"Why didn't she call back with a price?" my aunt continued. He told her again that he didn't know and that his wife had been busy with work, lately. My aunt made a sound that indicated she didn't believe him, and she went back into our store's basic telephone procedures and expectancies or whatever. Eventually, the man realized that he had no reason or energy to combat this woman, who must have been nagging him more than he figured his wife would for not bringing back the end tables, and so he left the store empty-handed.

A few minutes later I approached the counter. I felt like I was being attacked as my aunt demanded in a high, irritated voice, "What was with that guy?" Now, from when he had come in I knew that it was going to be a tricky situation. She got the end result she wanted, but I would have handled it differently. When she asked me that question my immediate response would have been to tell her that she needs to calm down. I didn't want to criticize her, though, and so I just ended up questioning her question, "What?" I had said it with my eye cocked and in a tone that meant, 'What exactly are you asking me?' But she responded to me as if I had said "What?" as if I was shrugging my shoulders and thinking that I saw nothing wrong with him. So she burst into every little detail of the entire episode to explain to me what the big deal was, and I felt forced to throw up my hands and grimace my face into that of the most frustrated man in the universe. Where she had gone wrong with the man at the counter was exactly where she was going wrong with me. I do not like to bicker back and forth shooting out my ideas with as much conviction as I possibly can. The reason for this is that whenever someone comes up with a good point I have trouble accepting their idea because I take the argument personally since I'm so worked up. But this is how she communicates. I tried to get out a point about how the man had done nothing wrong, but I faltered for just a second and she jumped in recounting the events again and told me how disgusted she was for the face I had made. I always end up getting sick of her and she can tell. We are polar opposites when it comes to the patience department. I like to think things through, but I can never get through to her. However, I do appreciate her way of thinking and communicating. I usually run out of energy contemplating every single thing from every single angle and I never get anything done. And so I respect her very much and this is why I do not want to criticize her. I've been trying to explain to her that she needs to meet me halfway if we are going to communicate but I don't think communicating with me is really that high on her list. She's extremely busy and she has the two most adorable children I've ever seen and I don't even know how she has time for them. But she's really going to have to stop asking me for my opinion if she doesn't have the patience for it. It just pisses me off when she does.

I had wanted to discuss how we should handle a situation like that man. Obviously this didn't happen. But I considered it on my own while she was on the phone. I figured the first thing was to explain the situation briefly to the man. 'We called your wife to suggest that price; we're willing to go higher. Would you be able to call her using our phone?" I'd also like to ask him if he lived locally. I wouldn't want him going back home 20 miles just to have his wife send him back out. If he did live locally, I'd tell him that it was up to him what he thought his wife would want to do and if he minded coming back out later. The end tables weren't very big and so it probably would have been best to let him take them home with him and relay our message to his wife who could then call and suggest a price, and if we didn't agree to it then he wouldn't have to come back out.

After she got off the phone, I started to tell her a little of what I thought we should do in that situation if it should arise again and she agreed to the first few thoughts (albeit it was as if she had already thought of them herself, which I believe she probably did by the way) all as she rushed out the door.

Many times she has told me that I remind her just of her husband. He's always making disgusting faces at her as well. I can understand his situation. I can also understand why she hates to see us react to her in such a way. You can't have it all though. If she chooses to act like she does there will be benefits and negatives. You can't dwell on the negatives too much. And if you try to eliminate the things you don't like about yourself, make sure you are changing the things and not yourself. That's the only way it will work out. It is better to be yourself with your problems than a shade of a person without minor irritables.

There is just one more problem I have, though. I used to be able to thrive in a situation like this. I used to be able to think more clearly and elaborate more directly. She makes me feel like I'm not very important and this is the only kind of motivation that has ever had an effect on me. Live, human interaction. Being around my aunt pushes me to pay more attention and stay more alert. I am happier with myself when I am like this, and I have more confidence. I think I've missed being around my sister these past five or six years. There's been no one to compete with, and also I haven't wanted to compete. But, now I do. I have to. It's my nature. Theoretically, I don't like that this is the case, but, hey, I've got to be true to myself, right?