What do i do with this
i'd rather humiliate myself and not care than care and do a better job but fail.
ok, so your question would be 'what do you define failure as?' because doing better could be seen as a kind of success. so to clarify, i'd say that when i say to humiliate myself means to act unlike myself which means to have no confidence and to just try to get through things. to clarify even more, i don't mean by care and do a better job that i would do my best but it would not be good enough. that would be just fine with me.
ok, forget all of that. the problem i'm really talking about is what could be called stage fright. blah, no sense thinking about it.
how can i eliminate stage fright. by going on stage i guess. i'm reminded of watching pittsburgh sports tonight when callers are told to turn their tvs down by the hosts because of the confusion it causes when they try to talk and also listen to their own voice. if i end up being myself that's all i want no matter if it's silly or not. i just don't want to freeze. oh well; but it's good that i'm caring about something like this right now as compared to questioning the amount of space that exists inside my head. (is it infinate?)(what does it mean if it is or isn't)
funny thing though, life isn't hard unless you make it that way. many things i've done and considered a piece of cake afterwards are things that people say are hard or they fear to do. once you do things they never seem hard. steve's favorite time is the calm before the storm. mine's the cleanup. says a lot about people.
what do you do with failure. i deal well with failure when i'm certain i have all the time in the world to get it right. what i can't deal with well is pressure. and only some sorts of pressure. like the kind that people will feel bad for you if you fail. what's the big deal, is how i look at failure. you'll do better next time. or that's how i would feel, but so many other people treat it like you just blew your only chance. and it's their reactions and responses that i can't avoid, and they affect me even though the failure wasn't that big a deal to me. they've made it a big deal and i'll never try again. get out of my face i want to tell them.
but for some people, they only can do their best when there's pressure on them like that. life or death is the only way to get them to do their best. but, then again, maybe it's like that for me too. i just settle for the 'try it as many times as you like,' and i never push myself to really do my best. my answer to that is then give me a life or death situation. i know i'd do fine then. it's just pretending that giving a speech is life or death or parallel parking is life or death just doesn't cut it for me. (hope you like cliches)
ok, so your question would be 'what do you define failure as?' because doing better could be seen as a kind of success. so to clarify, i'd say that when i say to humiliate myself means to act unlike myself which means to have no confidence and to just try to get through things. to clarify even more, i don't mean by care and do a better job that i would do my best but it would not be good enough. that would be just fine with me.
ok, forget all of that. the problem i'm really talking about is what could be called stage fright. blah, no sense thinking about it.
how can i eliminate stage fright. by going on stage i guess. i'm reminded of watching pittsburgh sports tonight when callers are told to turn their tvs down by the hosts because of the confusion it causes when they try to talk and also listen to their own voice. if i end up being myself that's all i want no matter if it's silly or not. i just don't want to freeze. oh well; but it's good that i'm caring about something like this right now as compared to questioning the amount of space that exists inside my head. (is it infinate?)(what does it mean if it is or isn't)
funny thing though, life isn't hard unless you make it that way. many things i've done and considered a piece of cake afterwards are things that people say are hard or they fear to do. once you do things they never seem hard. steve's favorite time is the calm before the storm. mine's the cleanup. says a lot about people.
what do you do with failure. i deal well with failure when i'm certain i have all the time in the world to get it right. what i can't deal with well is pressure. and only some sorts of pressure. like the kind that people will feel bad for you if you fail. what's the big deal, is how i look at failure. you'll do better next time. or that's how i would feel, but so many other people treat it like you just blew your only chance. and it's their reactions and responses that i can't avoid, and they affect me even though the failure wasn't that big a deal to me. they've made it a big deal and i'll never try again. get out of my face i want to tell them.
but for some people, they only can do their best when there's pressure on them like that. life or death is the only way to get them to do their best. but, then again, maybe it's like that for me too. i just settle for the 'try it as many times as you like,' and i never push myself to really do my best. my answer to that is then give me a life or death situation. i know i'd do fine then. it's just pretending that giving a speech is life or death or parallel parking is life or death just doesn't cut it for me. (hope you like cliches)
on a whim, chad was marco @ 1:35 AM
1 $BlogItemCommentCount$:
At 2:50 AM,
ClickNathan said…
When approaching things like parallel parking or giving a speech or cooking dinner or other mundane everyday life deals, I like to look at it not as life or death, but hilarity or perfection.
As soon as you get into the situation, you can usually tell if you're going to do a really good job at it or if you're going to start screwing up. If you start screwing it all up and over and back and forth again, just head towards hilarity. If you do it right, people won't even care, because they'll just be like "Oh man, that guy always makes the best of any situation."
And if you get it right the first time, well, then they get to see another crazy side to you that's easy to keep admiring.
Oh, and I like to make a big deal of nothing and that makes everything a big deal.
Pronto tonto.
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