Oh ok
i'm better now. wow i've been moody, at least in relation to my usual self. i felt like it was the end of days for blogging. haha. saying that i tend to exaggerate is an underexaggeration. my life is so boring that i exaggerate possibilities and then take the outlook that they are true thus really messing with my psyche (i don't know how to spell it but i want it to end in 'ee' as in tree).
just to keep myself honest here's what i wrote earlier. i don't want to delete anything. as a final note i was writing this as a comment on one of liz's posts. ignore if you choose. i felt helpless when writing it and if i write humorously when i'm laughing at what i'm writing then what you see below will seem helpless
-> 'catalog everything as i experience it'
that's what i want to do so bad. maybe because i'm a history major. or maybe i'm a history major because of it. or not because i'm pretty sure i just picked history because it was easy. or maybe because it was interesting. this is a good example of why i can't be clear and become aggravated. anyway, pingo.blogspot.com and i were talking about a mind recorder. but since there isn't one we have to try our best to remember things we think and experience. but we can only remember so much so how do we decide what to remember. i think we are pursuaded by our culture as to what is important or significant and so we end up all remembering the same things. we write about the same things. we like the same plots, usually. but i'm bored with what everyone has been interested in in this country. i want something new. i find what people think about thinking interesting. how they make decisions and how they process their thoughts and how they think they get to their beliefs and what they think when their thoughts conflict and what they do when their thoughts come to a dead end and where their thoughts dead end and what they think about that and how they respond to it and if they can ever get past the dead end some way and all of this kind of stuff. i guess it's pyscology but i don't really think it is. or even if it is i don't like calling it that because i hate to be restricted by what are called facts and proof. this isn't a bad thing because i don't plan on being a doctor, for one. anyway, i think that by writing about everything it might be beneficial to later cultures. what we take for granted is stuff that might be crucial for other cultures to understand us. so i don't mind writing about the 'insignificant' stuff because i'm not so sure it's insignificant except to people who want entertainment maybe.
just to keep myself honest here's what i wrote earlier. i don't want to delete anything. as a final note i was writing this as a comment on one of liz's posts. ignore if you choose. i felt helpless when writing it and if i write humorously when i'm laughing at what i'm writing then what you see below will seem helpless
-> 'catalog everything as i experience it'
that's what i want to do so bad. maybe because i'm a history major. or maybe i'm a history major because of it. or not because i'm pretty sure i just picked history because it was easy. or maybe because it was interesting. this is a good example of why i can't be clear and become aggravated. anyway, pingo.blogspot.com and i were talking about a mind recorder. but since there isn't one we have to try our best to remember things we think and experience. but we can only remember so much so how do we decide what to remember. i think we are pursuaded by our culture as to what is important or significant and so we end up all remembering the same things. we write about the same things. we like the same plots, usually. but i'm bored with what everyone has been interested in in this country. i want something new. i find what people think about thinking interesting. how they make decisions and how they process their thoughts and how they think they get to their beliefs and what they think when their thoughts conflict and what they do when their thoughts come to a dead end and where their thoughts dead end and what they think about that and how they respond to it and if they can ever get past the dead end some way and all of this kind of stuff. i guess it's pyscology but i don't really think it is. or even if it is i don't like calling it that because i hate to be restricted by what are called facts and proof. this isn't a bad thing because i don't plan on being a doctor, for one. anyway, i think that by writing about everything it might be beneficial to later cultures. what we take for granted is stuff that might be crucial for other cultures to understand us. so i don't mind writing about the 'insignificant' stuff because i'm not so sure it's insignificant except to people who want entertainment maybe.
on a whim, chad was marco @ 6:52 PM
8 $BlogItemCommentCount$:
At 12:23 AM,
Anonymous said…
hmm, i needed a post like this. even when i'm not writing something that's going to be shared in a public forum, i get frustrated with myself because i return to the same subjects over and over. there are some variations, a few new events now and then, but i start feeling like maybe i'm a really boring and uninteresting person because i want to talk about the same things all the time. the thing is, though, i don't mind it when my friends do that. i like to hear about all the little things my friends think about, because i think some pretty profound stuff comes through when people talk about what matters to them, without worrying what other people think. and i find people's thoughts fascinating to read even when they're about mundane things; i much prefer that to someone that's trying too hard to be inventive or serious.
i like reading your blog, for example, because it's very stream-of-consciousness, very authentic. no posturing, you know? your thoughts make it worth reading, but i especially the fact that they feel genuine. i like to read people who are genuine.
but then, i still worry that my brand of genuine is incredibly boring, you know? i wonder if the majority of people feel that way.
At 4:58 PM,
ClickNathan said…
I haven't made it past the first paragraph but I love that "my life is so boring I exaggerate and then go at it like the exaggerations are true" (paraphrasing) bit so much.
That's the only way to live, otherwise we're all just people sitting at red lights and thinking about what size coffee to buy.
At 5:05 PM,
ClickNathan said…
shut up and entertain me would have been what I'd written were I not to have stopped myself before getting to the end.
And now I don't remember what I was going to write anyway...oh yeah, something about how I can hear your voice and picture exactly how you would use inflection and on what words and phrases.
I think that the trees swaying because of the wind, and not because of the rock they're on that's hurdling 10,000 miles an hour through space is pretty interesting. I also find it incredibly interesting that thanks to the internet I now make more friends, really really amazing good friends who generally "get" me than I have in the past three years. Which is still only one but I haven't met anyone new who's worth talking to more than once or twice since I met you, and that had to be at least 3 years ago.
Oh wait, Steve. But I can't consider him to be a friend yet. He's still an acquaintance, though one with potential. Not really, though, cause let's face it, I rarely go to ebensburg. But when I do go, I'll probably end up at his house. Oh, but why would I be defining a friendship by how often I hang out with someone, when I don't hang out with my new intronet peoples in real life ever.
When did meeting and talking to people and having conversations on the internet go from = dirty old man looking for underage meat to just plain old acceptable?
At 5:07 PM,
ClickNathan said…
and as for liz...I would think that everyone talks about the same thing all of the time. Or at least we all think we are. Slowly we figure out the stuff that we've been thinking about and move on, but since we're always present in our lives it seems like a long long time when maybe it was only a week or a month.
When you talk to your friends, since you're only around them once in a while, well, then it's like "oh, this person is always coming up with something new and interesting" even though they've been hashing it out for the last three days non-stop.
Or I could be wrong...(but Chad knows I'm not) ((I could be wrong about that, too...but Shawn knows I'm definitely not))
At 6:12 PM,
chad was marco said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 6:40 PM,
chad was marco said…
did you like "N" because that is your new name?
it's funny liz, this post was very lucky to get posted. it was the last thing i thought i should post. so i'm glad i've adopted the whole no deleting decision. i mean, this post felt so empty and uncomplete and my mood changed toward the end and i got pissed and saved as draft. before i left work i posted it though.
shawn has mentioned deleting things instead of posting them. doesn't that piss everyone off. it's like your mom coming home and saying, well i was going to bring you ice cream because i knew you'd like it but i decided not to because i knew you wouldn't think it was the greatest thing ever. sorry shawn but if the fact is that you do have any time to write things please do; everyone gets so much out of what you think and how you say things. (i know nathan definately agrees with me)
does anyone else ever really want to say something and when they start to write it they re-read it and it seems like you've gone on to say the opposite of what you wanted? (this is unrelated to the above paragraph) many times, to say what i want, i, instead try to point out the wrongness of the opposite of what i want to say and stuff like that.
i laughed out loud, quite involuntarily, and luckily after a quick look around realized nobody was in the store, all after i read: "sitting at red lights and thinking about what size coffee to buy." so true.
so many more things and so much more time but so little time remaining in the window of opportunity to be able to keep up with my thoughts and to keep up the energy needed to write. i'll try a post though.
(the removed post looked just like this one except i was missing a negative right where i really needed one. i said 'would' instead of wouldn't at one point, is what i mean. woulda changed it all-the meaning of the sentence i mean)
At 1:26 PM,
ClickNathan said…
It's all so clear to me now.
Perhaps we, as in you and I, should regularly "blog" in Shawn's comments. Nice hearty lengthy ones, too, really good ones, where you're almost disappointed because you'd rather they were on your own site.
Somehow that will convince him to post more...right?
At 1:47 AM,
chad was marco said…
hmm, i just reread all of this because i'm drunk and bored at 2am. i'm struck because i think i said something that people may have took the wrong way. if so, liz i hope you read this. in my original post, i said i began writing something on liz's post. then i said something about ignoring it you choose. i totally meant my following, and lengthy paragraph. i certainly did not mean, 'ignore, if you choose, liz's post'!!!
i, until now, had been confused by your statement 'hmm, i needed a post like this.' i somehow viewed your comment as referring to my post. i was not criticizing your post. please, i never would have meant that and i'm so sorry if you thought that. i would love anyone who read my blog, or found it interesting, to read your posts. shit, if you thought that's what i meant, i'm really sorry.
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