i don't know anything right now

well, i wrote a lengthy post and then erased because it was a pile of shit, pardon my English curse.

i so easily settle down into a happy spot wherever i am in life and so i hate the freedom i have to get better because i'm always wondering if i'll regret it if i don't. i'm constantly thinking i'm good at something and then later thinking i'm terrible at it. and vice versa.