"look at me! dr. zoidberg, home-owner!"
man, i had this neat nightmare the other night. i used to think i should try and be a man if i wake up from a nightmare and find it, um, unnerving to try and fall back asleep and so i used to refrain from turning on the tv or light etc. but it's just not worth it. it's not that i'm afraid after i wake up. it's that as soon as my mind drifts out of my control, the fear from the nightmare comes back.
so what happened was that i woke up every 40 minutes or so for the next 5 hours before i had to get up. i could keep falling asleep but i couldn't let myself totally relax.
it was weird too. the dream. it wasn't even a nightmare at first. just an incredibly gory action film. i still have perfect images of the last few scenes burned in my mind. lots of people outside getting their necks sliced through by spinning blades. and this gore wasn't so bad. it just set the tone.
as i was waking from it, in between actually sleeping and kind of waking, one of the guys that died, presumably, started talking to my consciousness. there was no longer any scenes, just the darkness of my eyelids. this was when it turned into a nightmare. he told me weird feelings about what it was like to really live in pain and torture and to have witnessed things like that and how noone could understand if they hadn't experienced it. and to me, i was now someone in between not ever having experienced it and having experienced it. it was like i had done a dianna troi/mindmeld thing, or like rogue did to wolverine when she touched him in the movie.
when i had time the next morning to think about it, the instinctive way of describing what i dreamt about was to say that i had a dream about hell. that was the feel i couldn't escape all night. it wasn't the images or what the guy told me, it was the feeling that i slightly better understood what hell would be like. that sucks.
but i pretty much forget now. i slept almost fine last night. should be about the same tonight. and it's not like the devil vistited me or anything - you know who you are.
but, futurama's starting.
so what happened was that i woke up every 40 minutes or so for the next 5 hours before i had to get up. i could keep falling asleep but i couldn't let myself totally relax.
it was weird too. the dream. it wasn't even a nightmare at first. just an incredibly gory action film. i still have perfect images of the last few scenes burned in my mind. lots of people outside getting their necks sliced through by spinning blades. and this gore wasn't so bad. it just set the tone.
as i was waking from it, in between actually sleeping and kind of waking, one of the guys that died, presumably, started talking to my consciousness. there was no longer any scenes, just the darkness of my eyelids. this was when it turned into a nightmare. he told me weird feelings about what it was like to really live in pain and torture and to have witnessed things like that and how noone could understand if they hadn't experienced it. and to me, i was now someone in between not ever having experienced it and having experienced it. it was like i had done a dianna troi/mindmeld thing, or like rogue did to wolverine when she touched him in the movie.
when i had time the next morning to think about it, the instinctive way of describing what i dreamt about was to say that i had a dream about hell. that was the feel i couldn't escape all night. it wasn't the images or what the guy told me, it was the feeling that i slightly better understood what hell would be like. that sucks.
but i pretty much forget now. i slept almost fine last night. should be about the same tonight. and it's not like the devil vistited me or anything - you know who you are.
but, futurama's starting.
on a whim, chad was marco @ 1:56 AM
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At 6:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
weird.......I haven't had what someone would call a "nightmare" for a while now, I usually get them once every few months, so I guess I'm due. Usually it's pretty creepy, and I noticed after the last one I was breathing very deeply when I awoke. A few seconds went by and I realized I was dreaming, then the feeling of relief came, and then all I wanted to do was make my room brighter. And yes, I fell back to sleep with the light still on. And yes, I am a pussy. My imagination just runs wild. Even though I know certain things I see in a movie/show or read in a book are fiction/not real, I still can't seem to overcome the possiblly that there might be some spooky kid/ghost sitting in the dark, in the corner of my room, ready to jump at and scare the living shit out of me. Any suggestions? Anyways, i'm glad i'm writing this post and even gladder to say I'm coming home on November 10th and hope to see my friends since it's been too long. this is lou
At 8:36 PM,
chad was marco said…
yeah, jules, would you consider those dreams more fun than scary? one time, confirm this with shawn if you wish, macguyver and i were trying to flee over a snowy hill. but i didn't make it. hit in the back with an arrow.
hey lou. the 10th sounds awesome. how long are you in
for? please say two to six months.
using 'kid' in 'kid/ghost' was mean. now i'm due for another nightmare.
i think that's the only way you can deal with them though - turning a light on. i go through stretches of being able to fall back asleep without a second thought after waking in the middle of the night and not even coming close to being able to go back to sleep. i'm now in the habit of immediately turning my tv on and going back to sleep. kenny got me into this habit. but hey, there's no sense wasting time trying to not think bad thoughts. i just turn it on and a second later i'm back out.
there's something weird about houses though. if i'm in someone's spare bedroom it's so much worse than if i was in an apartment. and worst of all is my own bedroom. there's almost no scarier place for me to wake up than in my own bedroom in the middle of the night. not once, even when i was the only one there did i wake with fear my two years in pittsburgh. living in an apartment building, for one thing, gives a sense of security. but i also slept at the first place which only had like two apartments in it. it depends on what you fear i guess. unreal things are less likely to be around a lot of people - cities, apartments. real things, like killers and rapers would be around the city though. those things aren't what keep me up at night.
apartment buildings just don't seem haunted. big empty houses on the other hand..
At 6:06 PM,
ClickNathan said…
The Ghost of Jennifer Kasecky (whom I initially thought I made up...) has haunted and followed me from house to house for 10,000 years.
Otherwise, Nov 10th it is! Fahrs for everyone...
At 12:21 AM,
Kully said…
Oh my gosh i have dreams about getting shot too, and im bleeding. but they arent nightmares, more like the way you feel when you have no energy.
It's so strange that things that shouldnt really be that scarey are more scary then any suspenseful movie or urban legend or whatever... I think dreams are ones subconcious battling its way through all the concious stuff. Read Carl Jung...looney. but hey could be true...
At 2:13 PM,
chad was marco said…
yeah, that's exactly how i feel when i get shot in dreams. no fear, just not being able to move. and actually, many times, after i wake up right after i start wondering why there's no pain. it's kind of cool how you wake up from dreams.
i don't know about what carl jung says. beats me.
hmm, i wonder if salome has met that ghost of yours, clackthan.
anyway, for those coming in, real or unreal, you're invited to plan for a nov. 11th fun time more than a 10th, if i'm right in thinking that the 11th is more of a saturday. friday nights are by far the worst day for me. and if manageable, sunday (or also thursday) nights are the egg's golden hen, you know?
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